Romance scams: when love on WhatsApp ends with a request for money

Romance scams: when love on WhatsApp ends with a request for money

You meet someone on a dating app, on Facebook or Instagram, or even through a "wrong number" message. They're attentive, affectionate, interested in your life. Soon they suggest moving the conversation to WhatsApp. Weeks of good-morning messages, long chats and plans for the future follow. Then a problem appears: an emergency, a flight that needs paying for, customs fees, a business deal or an investment opportunity. It's a romance scam, and it's one of the most painful frauds because it takes both money and trust.

How does a romance scam work?

1. A carefully built profile. Attractive photos (often stolen from someone else's social media), a respectable job that keeps them far away: oil rig engineer, military officer on deployment, doctor with an aid organisation, successful businessperson abroad.
2. Moving to a private channel. They suggest leaving the dating app for WhatsApp or Telegram quickly, where the platform can't detect them.
3. Intense affection. Constant messages, compliments, declarations of love early on. They share "personal" stories and ask about your life to learn your weak points.
4. Excuses not to meet. They can't do video calls (bad connection, broken camera, work restrictions), and every plan to meet falls through at the last minute.
5. The money. Small at first, then larger: a medical emergency, a plane ticket to come and see you, a parcel stuck at customs, frozen bank accounts, legal fees. Or the modern variant: they show you how much they're earning on an investment platform and invite you to join.
6. The escalation. Each payment leads to another problem. If you hesitate, they become hurt, angry or desperate.

What signs give a romance scammer away?

• They declare their love very quickly, without having met you.
• They always have a reason not to meet or do a video call.
• Their job keeps them abroad or somewhere hard to verify.
• Their story has inconsistencies: details that change, odd spelling for their supposed background.
• They ask you to keep the relationship secret from family and friends.
• They ask for money, gift cards, cryptocurrency, or for you to receive and forward money or parcels.
• They push you to invest in a platform they recommend.
• Their photos appear elsewhere under other names: a reverse image search can reveal it.

What do I do if I suspect it's a scam?

1. Don't send money, whatever the reason or the amount.
2. Talk to someone you trust about the relationship. A friend or relative can see what's hard to see from inside.
3. Do a reverse image search of their photos. If they appear under other names, it's a fake profile.
4. Ask for a live video call. If they keep refusing, that's a strong sign.
5. Don't share intimate photos or personal documents: they can be used for blackmail or identity fraud.
6. Report the profile on the dating app or social network, and block the number.

What if I've already sent money?

Don't blame yourself. These scams are run by organised groups who are very good at manipulation. Act now:

1. Stop sending money. Any new request, even to "recover" what you sent, is part of the scam.
2. Call your bank on 159 or the number on the back of your card. Explain that you've been the victim of a romance scam and ask them to try to stop or recover payments. Bank transfers made because you were deceived may be covered by the rules on authorised push payment scams, which require most victims to be reimbursed, with some exceptions; the Payment Systems Regulator explains them.
3. If you sent cryptocurrency, keep the wallet addresses and transaction IDs. Recovery is difficult, but report it anyway. The FCA explains how crypto investment scams work.
4. If you received money or parcels and passed them on, tell your bank and the police: you may have been used as a money mule.
5. Keep all the evidence: conversations, profiles, photos, numbers, payment receipts.
6. Beware of "recovery" offers: people who promise to get your money back for a fee are often the same scammers.
7. Look after yourself. The emotional impact can be as hard as the financial loss. Victim Support offers free, confidential help to victims of crime, including fraud.

Where do I report it?

• Report Fraud (formerly Action Fraud) on 0300 123 2040 in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, or Police Scotland on 101, with all the evidence.
• The dating app or social network: report the profile so it can be removed.
• Citizens Advice consumer service for advice: see how to report a scam.
• NoCall: report the number in the spam numbers directory.

If someone is threatening to share intimate images of you, don't pay: keep the evidence and contact the police on 101, or 999 if you're in immediate danger.

Frequently asked questions

They called me and the voice sounded real. Can it still be a scam? Yes. Scammers can talk on the phone, use someone else's voice or even use voice-changing tools. A phone call doesn't prove identity; meeting in person, safely, or a live video call that doesn't keep "failing" is much more reliable.

They didn't ask me for money, just to invest on a platform. Is that the same? Yes, it's one of the most common variants. The platform is fake, the profits on screen don't exist, and when you try to withdraw, fees and excuses appear. Check any firm on the FCA Register before investing.

In short

Love that never meets you, always has an emergency and ends up asking for money or an investment is a scam. Don't send money, talk to someone you trust, check their photos and report it. If you've already paid, call your bank, keep the evidence and report it to the police. And if the scammer contacted you by phone or WhatsApp, report the number in the NoCall spam numbers directory: your warning could protect someone else.