Romance scams: when love on WhatsApp ends with a request for money

Romance scams: when love on WhatsApp ends with a request for money

It starts on a dating app, on Facebook or Instagram, sometimes with a "wrong number" message on WhatsApp. The person is attentive, charming and interested in your life. They message you every day, good morning and good night. Soon they suggest moving the conversation to WhatsApp or Telegram. Weeks or months later, something happens: a medical emergency, a problem at customs, a ticket to finally come and meet you, or a "can't-miss" investment they'd like to share with you. A romance scam isn't about being naive: it's carried out by people who do this professionally, and anyone can be targeted. Here's how it works and what to do.

How does a romance scam work?

1. The fake profile. Attractive photos (often stolen from someone else's social media), an appealing story: an engineer on an oil rig, a doctor with an aid organisation, a soldier on a mission, a successful businessperson abroad. Always somewhere that makes meeting difficult.
2. Intense attention. Lots of messages, compliments, plans for the future together. They make you feel special very quickly.
3. Moving to private channels. They ask you to leave the dating app for WhatsApp or Telegram, away from the platform's moderation.
4. Excuses not to meet or video call. The camera is broken, the connection is bad, they're on a base with no signal.
5. The money request. A sick relative, a problem with customs or a bank, a plane ticket, legal costs, or a "crypto investment" that's doing great for them. The amounts start small and grow.
6. The escalation. If you pay, new problems appear. If you hesitate, they make you feel guilty or threaten to end the relationship.

There's also a common variant mixed with investment: the person never asks for money directly, but encourages you to invest on a platform where you "see" huge gains, until you can't withdraw anything.

What signs give a romance scammer away?

• They declare their love very quickly.
• They always have a reason not to meet or not to do a video call.
• Their story has inconsistencies, or their photos look like a model's. A reverse image search (Google Lens or similar) often reveals the same photos under another name.
• They live or work abroad and plan to "come to Ireland soon".
• They ask for money, gift cards, crypto, or for you to receive and forward money or parcels.
• They want secrecy: "don't tell your family, they won't understand".
• They talk about investments and offer to teach you.

What do I do if I suspect it's a scam?

1. Don't send money or gift cards, and don't invest on any platform they recommend.
2. Ask for a live video call. If they keep making excuses, that's a very clear sign.
3. Search their photos with a reverse image search.
4. Talk to someone you trust. A friend or relative sees things from the outside that are hard to see from the inside.
5. Don't receive or forward money or parcels for them: you could be used as a money mule.
6. Keep evidence: screenshots of the profile, conversations, numbers, account details, receipts.
7. Report the profile on the app or social network, and the number in the spam numbers directory.

What if I've already sent money?

• Stop paying. Whatever the next "problem" is, the money won't come back by sending more.
• Ring your bank on its official number, explain it's a fraud and ask them to try to stop or recall the payments. If you paid by card, ask about a chargeback.
• Report it to An Garda Síochána at your local Garda station, with all the evidence. Fraud is investigated with the support of the Garda National Economic Crime Bureau.
• Beware of "recovery" offers: people who contact you promising to get your money back for a fee are often part of the same scam.
• Look after yourself. The emotional damage can be as serious as the financial one. The Crime Victims Helpline (116 006) offers free support to victims of crime, including fraud.

If the bank refuses to refund you and you disagree, make a formal complaint; after that you can bring it to the Financial Services and Pensions Ombudsman (FSPO).

Where do I report it?

• An Garda Síochána, at your local station.
• Your bank, if you've sent money or shared card details.
• The dating app or social network, using the report option on the profile.
• NoCall, in the spam numbers directory.

The CCPC's guide to romance scams describes the warning signs and is worth sharing with anyone using dating apps.

Frequently asked questions

I've been talking to them for months. Can it still be a scam? Yes. Romance scammers are patient: months of conversation are an investment for them before the big request.

They never asked for money, only that I invest. Is that also a scam? Very often, yes. It's one of the most common variants. If an online partner pushes you towards a platform, check the firm with the Central Bank of Ireland before investing anything.

I'm embarrassed to report it. Is it worth it? Yes. These criminals target thousands of people, and reports help investigators. The Gardaí deal with these cases regularly; you won't be judged.

How do I help a relative who's convinced the relationship is real? Without judging. Suggest a video call or a reverse image search, share the CCPC's guide, and stay close: isolation is what the scammer wants.

In short

Someone you've only met online who avoids video calls and ends up asking for money or pushing an investment is almost certainly a scammer. Don't send money, talk to someone you trust and keep evidence. If you've already paid, ring your bank, report it to the Gardaí and look for support. And report the number or profile in the NoCall spam numbers directory.