How to protect older people from phone scams

If you have a father, a mother or a grandparent who lives alone, this guide is for you. Protecting an older person from phone scams isn't about taking away their mobile or frightening them. It comes down to three things: teaching them to recognise two or three clear warning signs, setting up the phone so it filters out the worst, and agreeing a simple rule for whenever they're unsure. Let's go step by step.

Scammers single out older people for specific reasons. They tend to be at home and available more of the time, they're inclined to trust anyone who claims to be from an official body, they sometimes can't tell a spoofed number from a real one, and they often don't mention the call to anyone out of embarrassment or so as not to worry others. None of those factors is their fault: they are precisely the points the scammer sets out to exploit. Your job as a family member is to close those gaps without turning the phone into a source of stress.

What signs should you watch for in your relative?

The first sign that something is wrong is often not the call itself, but a change in your relative. Learn to read these signs in everyday conversations.

• They talk about a prize, an inheritance or an "opportunity" that came up over the phone. Any unexpected windfall that arrives via a call is a red flag.
• They mention that "the bank" or "the police" have called them and asked them to do something urgently: move money, give a code, install an app.
• They've made transfers, Bizum payments or top-ups they can't quite explain, or justify with vague phrases ("it was to fix a problem with the account").
• They get calls at odd hours or lots of calls from unknown numbers in a short space of time.
• They've been asked to keep it secret: "don't tell anyone", "this is confidential". No legitimate organisation asks you to hide a transaction from your family.
• They have a technician on the phone guiding them to install something on the computer or mobile (AnyDesk, TeamViewer and the like).
• They're nervous, evasive or embarrassed when talking about a recent call.

The most dangerous sign is urgency combined with secrecy. If your relative tells you they have to sort something out "right now" and "not to tell anyone", stop everything and verify it yourself. To understand why these tactics work so well over the phone, it's worth reading how voice scams impersonating the bank and the tax office operate and how to read the risk signs of a number.

How do you raise the subject without frightening or patronising them?

This is the part most families skip, and it's the one that makes the biggest difference. If your relative feels you're treating them as incapable, they'll stop telling you things. And if they stop telling you, they'll lose the only safety net they have: you.

Some ideas that work:

• Speak in the plural and normalise the risk. "Someone tried to scam me too. It happens all the time now." That's very different from "be careful, you'll believe anything".
• Tell a specific story, don't lecture. A real example —the fake postal SMS, the call from the "bank"— sticks in the mind; a list of rules doesn't.
• Agree a single golden rule, easy to repeat: "If anyone asks me for money, a code or to install something over the phone, I hang up and call you." A simple rule gets used; ten rules get forgotten.
• Turn doubt into something to be shared, not hidden. Make it clear that calling you to ask "is this normal?" is never a bother. Most scams are cut short the moment the victim checks with someone.
• Don't blame them if they've already fallen for it. The scammer is a professional. Being caught out doesn't make you foolish. If your relative fears your reaction, they'll hide the problem from you when they most need help.

Repeat the golden rule now and then, without overdoing it. A five-minute conversation every few months is worth more than one long talk no one remembers.

How do you set up a relative's phone so it filters out the worst?

The second pillar is technical, and you do it just once. The idea is for the phone itself to stop a good deal of the spam before your relative has to decide anything. The exact setup depends on the device:

You'll find the detailed step-by-step in the guides on how to block spam calls on iPhone and blocking spam calls on Android by manufacturer.

Beyond the settings, there are two gestures that matter especially with an older person:

1. Save trusted contacts properly. Bank, GP, pharmacy, children, neighbours. If the number calling isn't in the address book and the phone silences it, your relative misses fewer real calls and answers less rubbish. The more legitimate contacts you save, the more effective the "unknown" filter is.
2. Note where the problem came from, don't just block it. When you block a number, look at what type it is. Knowing whether it's a premium-rate prefix or a suspicious international number helps you explain to your relative what to avoid. You can look up any number or prefix in our spam number directory and in the prefixes section.

A practical tip: go through the settings together, with your relative's phone in hand, and write the golden rule and your phone number on a piece of paper stuck to the fridge or inside the phone case. It sounds homespun, but it works better than any app.

Which specific scams should you teach them to recognise?

Your relative doesn't need to know about cybersecurity. It's enough for them to recognise the pattern of three or four frauds that come up again and again. These are the ones worth explaining with an example:

• The fake bank. "We're calling about a suspicious charge, please confirm the code we've sent you." No bank asks for passwords, PINs or one-time codes over the phone. We explain it in detail in how to check whether a call or SMS from your bank is real.
• The fake official body. The tax office or Social Security "demanding" an urgent payment. These bodies don't ask for confidential data or payments by phone or SMS; we explain how to check it in how to verify a notice from the tax office or Social Security.
• The held parcel. An SMS saying you have to pay a small amount to release a delivery, with a link. The postal service never sends payment links by SMS. More detail in parcel scams with a fake postal-service SMS.
• Fake tech support. Someone claiming to be from Microsoft or Apple asking you to install a program to "fix the computer". The aim is to take control of the machine or steal credentials.
• The cloned voice of a relative. A distressing call —"Mum, I've had a problem, I need money"— with a voice that sounds like a child or grandchild. Today a voice can be imitated with very little audio. If your relative gets a call like this, the rule is to hang up and call the person supposedly in trouble directly. We cover it in AI-cloned voices in phone scams.

The common thread running through all these scams is the same: they create pressure, they instil fear, and they ask for something a legitimate service would never request over the phone (a code, an immediate transfer, installing something). If your relative internalises just that pattern, they've already won half the battle.

What to do right after a suspicious call?

Agree a three-step sequence in advance, so short it can be carried out even when someone is flustered:

1. Hang up. There's no obligation to keep a conversation going. Hanging up on a stranger who's pressuring you is never rude.
2. Don't call back the number that appears. That number may be spoofed. If it was the bank, you call the number on the back of the card or in the passbook.
3. Check. Call you, or look up the number in the NoCall directory. Always verify through a known channel, never the one the call itself offers.

If the call involved urgency around money, add a fourth step: don't move anything until you've verified it. Almost every scam relies on acting in a hurry. Waiting ten minutes and making a verification call defuses most of them.

And if your relative has already been a scam victim?

If they've given out data, made a transfer or installed something, the first thing is calm and speed, in that order. Telling them off fixes nothing and only means that next time they'll hide the problem from you. Act according to this order of priorities:

INCIBE handles cybersecurity queries free of charge on 017 (also via WhatsApp and Telegram), a very useful resource when you don't know what to do next. If your relative handed over personal or banking details, calmly go over all the steps in our complete guide on what to do once you've given out your data in a scam. And if the fraud came by SMS or call and you fear it could lead to a SIM swap, watch for signs of losing coverage for no reason.

One important detail: many older victims feel ashamed and play down what happened ("it wasn't that bad"). Ask tactfully about the real amount and whether they gave out any code or password. Sometimes the visible damage is small, but the data handed over opens the door to a bigger fraud later on.

Three pillars to remember

If you take away a single idea from this whole guide, let it be this three-pillar structure:

• Conversation. A simple golden rule, repeated with warmth and without blame: hang up and call me.
• Configuration. The phone filters out the spam before your relative has to decide; trusted contacts saved properly.
• Response. A clear sequence of what to do after a strange call, and an orderly plan if something goes wrong.

Protecting an older relative isn't about keeping watch over them, it's about being there for them. Phone scams work by isolating the victim; you break that isolation simply by being available and making it clear that asking is never a bother.

If any of the numbers we mention sounds familiar, check it and report it in the NoCall directory: every report helps ensure the next older person to receive that same call sees it flagged as spam. To keep learning, you'll find more resources in our guides, on the blog and in the spam trends in Spain section.