Phone harassment: repeated calls or texts and what to do

Phone harassment: repeated calls or texts and what to do

The phone rings again. The same number, or a hidden one, or a new one every day. Sometimes there's silence, sometimes insults, sometimes threats. Texts arrive at all hours. Whether it's an ex, someone you know, a stranger, or an aggressive company, repeated unwanted contact can wear you down and make you feel unsafe. Making harassing or threatening calls is illegal under federal and state laws, and you have options: blocking, documenting, reporting, and getting support. If you ever feel in immediate danger, call 911.

When is it harassment and not just a nuisance?

An occasional wrong number or a sales call isn't harassment. These are signs that it is:

• Repetition: many calls or messages, especially after you've asked them to stop.
• Intent to intimidate, threaten, or upset you: insults, threats, sexual comments, or silence meant to scare you.
• Changing numbers or hidden numbers to get around your blocks.
• Calls at night or at your workplace, or to your family and friends.
• Messages showing they know where you are, what you're doing, or who you're with. This can be part of stalking.
• A link to a relationship: an ex-partner or someone you know who won't accept no.

When the contact is part of a pattern of following, monitoring, or threatening, it may be stalking, which is a crime in every state.

What do I do right now?

1. Don't engage. Responding, arguing, or begging them to stop often encourages more contact. If you want to set a limit, do it once, in writing, clearly: "Do not contact me again."
2. Document everything. Screenshot texts and call logs with dates and times. Save voicemails. Keep a written log with the date, time, number, and what was said. This record is the basis of any report.
3. Block the numbers on your phone and turn on "Silence Unknown Callers" (iPhone) or the call-blocking and spam options (Android). Keep the evidence before deleting anything.
4. Talk to your carrier. Carriers can help with harassing calls: blocking features, call-tracing options on some lines, or changing your number. Ask what they offer.
5. Tell people you trust what's happening, and consider letting your workplace know if they call you there.
6. Check your phone and accounts for signs someone has access: unknown apps, location sharing, or logins you don't recognize. Change passwords if in doubt.

How do I report it?

• To the police. If the calls are threatening, persistent, or part of stalking, file a report with your local police department and bring your log and screenshots. If there's an immediate threat, call 911.
• Protective orders. If the harasser is someone you know, you may be able to request a protective or restraining order from a court. A local advocate can explain how it works in your state.
• Support organizations:
  • The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers confidential support 24/7, by phone at 1-800-799-7233 or by chat, if the harassment comes from a current or former partner.
  • The Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC) has resources to recognize and document stalking.
  • If you're feeling overwhelmed, you can call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
• If it's a company or debt collector calling repeatedly, that's handled differently: you can complain to the FTC and the relevant regulator. USAGov explains how to complain about phone scams, robocalls, and telemarketers.
• In NoCall, report spam or scam numbers in the spam numbers directory. For personal harassment, prioritize the police and your evidence.

What if I already answered or played along?

That's normal, and it doesn't take away your right to report. From now on:

• Stop responding, after one clear request to stop if you haven't made one.
• Don't delete past conversations, even if they're uncomfortable: they're evidence.
• If you shared personal information (address, workplace, photos), tell the police and consider extra safety measures, such as varying your routines or reviewing your social media privacy.
• If they're threatening to share intimate images, that's sextortion or image-based abuse: don't pay, save evidence, and report it.

Frequently asked questions

The calls come from a hidden number. Can anything be done? Yes. Keep a log of the dates and times anyway. Police and carriers can sometimes identify the source as part of an investigation, and blocking unknown callers reduces the impact.

Should I change my phone number? It can help, but it's a personal decision. If you do, share the new number only with people you trust, and keep the old records as evidence.

It's my ex, and they say they just want to talk. Is it still harassment? If you've asked them to stop and they keep contacting you, especially from new numbers, it can be. Talk to an advocate at the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help with a safety plan.

Can I record the calls? Recording laws vary by state: some require everyone's consent. Saving voicemails and texts is generally safe; check your state's rules or ask the police before recording live calls.

In short

Phone harassment isn't something you have to put up with. Don't engage, document everything, block, and report it to the police, especially if there are threats. Support organizations can help you plan your safety. And if the calls are spam or scams, report the number in the NoCall spam numbers directory.