Romance scams: when love by text or WhatsApp ends with a request for money

Romance scams: when love by text or WhatsApp ends with a request for money

It starts with a match on a dating app, a friend request, or a text "to the wrong number" that turns into a friendly chat. The person is attentive, writes every morning and every night, and quickly says they've never felt like this. They live far away: they work on an oil rig, they're a military doctor overseas, an engineer on a project abroad. And one day there's a problem that only money can solve. This is a romance scam, and it's among the scams with the highest losses reported in the US. No matter how real the feelings seem, someone you've never met in person who asks you for money is a red flag.

How does a romance scam work?

1. The contact. Dating apps, Facebook, Instagram, online games, or a text from an unknown number ("Hi, is this Jessica?").
2. Moving the chat. They quickly ask to continue on WhatsApp, Telegram, or by text, away from the platform's safety tools.
3. Love bombing. Constant attention, compliments, plans for a future together. They tell you about a tragic past and a job that keeps them far away.
4. The excuses. Video calls never work, the camera is "broken," or they only appear for seconds. Every planned meeting is cancelled at the last minute.
5. The money. An emergency (hospital, customs fees, a frozen bank account, a plane ticket to finally see you), or an "investment opportunity" in crypto they want to share with you.
6. The spiral. Each payment leads to a new problem. If you hesitate, they turn sad, hurt, or angry.

A growing variant combines romance and investment: the "partner" never asks directly for money, but guides you to invest on a crypto platform that they control.

What signs give a romance scammer away?

• They profess strong feelings very quickly.
• They avoid video calls or meeting in person, always with an excuse.
• Their photos look too perfect, or a reverse image search shows them under another name.
• They live or work abroad and can't access their own money.
• They ask for money, gift cards, crypto, or help receiving and forwarding packages or funds.
• They ask you to keep the relationship secret from friends and family.
• They steer the conversation toward investments.

What do I do if I suspect it's a scam?

1. Stop sending money, no matter the reason.
2. Search their photos with a reverse image search tool. Many scammers use stolen photos.
3. Ask for a live video call. If they keep avoiding it, that's your answer.
4. Talk to someone you trust. An outside view helps when emotions are strong.
5. Don't confront them with your suspicions if you plan to report: save the evidence first.
6. Never receive or forward money or packages for them: you could end up involved in money laundering.

What if I've already sent money?

1. Contact your bank or payment app immediately using the number on your card or in the official app. Report the transactions as fraud and ask whether any can be stopped.
2. If you paid with gift cards, contact the company that issued them with the card numbers and receipts.
3. If you sent crypto, keep the wallet addresses and transaction IDs, and contact the exchange you used.
4. Save the evidence: chats, profiles, photos, phone numbers, emails, and payment records.
5. Cut contact and block them on every platform.
6. Be very wary of "recovery" offers. People who promise to get your money back for a fee are often part of the same network.

Feeling ashamed is normal, but it's not your fault: these are professional criminals who use psychological manipulation.

Where do I report it?

• To the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3).
• To the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov.
• To the platform where you met (dating app or social network), so they can remove the profile.
• If money or packages were sent through the mail, to the U.S. Postal Inspection Service. Its page on romance scams explains how these schemes work.
• In NoCall: report the number in the spam numbers directory.

Frequently asked questions

We've been talking for months. Can it still be a scam? Yes. Romance scammers are patient: some build the relationship for months before the first request.

They never asked me for money directly, only to invest together. Is that safe? That's one of the most common variants. If someone you've never met is guiding your investments, stop and check the platform independently.

How can I help a relative who won't believe it's a scam? Don't ridicule them. Show them how the pattern works, help them do a reverse image search, and suggest asking for a live video call. Patience works better than confrontation.

In short

A romance scam exploits trust and loneliness. Keep one rule: don't send money to someone you've never met in person, however real the relationship feels. If you've already paid, call your bank, save the evidence, and report it to IC3. And report the number in the NoCall spam numbers directory: it may protect someone else's heart and savings.