Phone harassment: repeated calls or messages and what to do

Phone harassment: repeated calls or messages and what to do

The phone rings again. It is the tenth call of the day, or the twentieth message, sometimes in the middle of the night, sometimes from a private number, sometimes from a new number every time you block the last one. It might be an ex-partner, someone you know, a former colleague or a complete stranger. When calls or messages are persistent, unwanted and disrupt your daily life, it is no longer a nuisance: it is phone harassment, and in South Africa you can get a protection order against it and, depending on what is said, open a criminal case. The most important thing to know from the start: you do not have to put up with it, and the sooner you start keeping a record, the easier it is to stop.

When is it harassment and not just a nuisance?

Not every unwanted call is harassment. A company calling to sell you something is annoying marketing; a wrong number is a mistake. We are talking about harassment when several of these signs appear:

• Persistence. Repeated calls or messages, many times a day or for weeks, even when you do not answer.
• You have said no and it continues. You asked them to stop, or your silence is obvious, and it still goes on.
• They switch numbers to get around your block. Private numbers, new numbers, other messaging apps, fake profiles.
• Intrusive timing. Calls in the middle of the night or at moments chosen to disturb you.
• Intimidating content. Insults, threats, comments about where you are or who you are with, long silences, heavy breathing.
• Impact on your life. You are afraid to pick up the phone, you change your routine or switch your phone off to get some peace.

South Africa's Protection from Harassment Act covers exactly this kind of behaviour, including repeated calls, messages and electronic communications, whether or not a conversation follows, and lets you apply for a protection order at the magistrate's court. If the person is a partner, ex-partner or family member, the Domestic Violence Act may also apply. Threats or crimen injuria can also be criminal offences in their own right. You do not need to know which law fits: the court and the police assess that. What is in your hands is gathering evidence.

What do I do right now?

1. Do not take the bait. Do not reply with insults or negotiate. If you want to make it clear that you do not want contact, send one single calm, clear message ("I do not want you to call or message me again") and do not reply to anything after that. That message is also evidence.
2. Start a log today. In a note or a spreadsheet, record every call and message: date, time, number (or "private"), length and what was said. An orderly log turns "they call me a lot" into a pattern that can be proved.
3. Take screenshots of the call log and messages, with the date and number visible. Keep voicemails and voice notes too.
4. Make a backup. Export the chats and save the screenshots off your phone (on a computer or in the cloud). If your phone is lost or broken, you do not lose the evidence.
5. Do not delete anything, even if it hurts to read. Screenshots and backup first; blocking after.
6. Block the number. Android and iPhone both let you block a number from the call log. On iPhone you can also switch on "Silence Unknown Callers", and most Android phones have an option to block unknown or private numbers. Block the profile on WhatsApp, Telegram, Instagram and any other app they use too.
7. Tell someone you trust. Do not carry this alone. Someone who knows what is happening can go with you to the court or the police station and can confirm how it is affecting you.

Blocking does not destroy the evidence you already have, but it does mean you stop seeing new attempts. If the person keeps changing numbers, note each new number before blocking it: that persistence in getting around your blocks is itself evidence of harassment.

How do I report it?

1. If there is immediate danger, call 10111 (or 112 from a cellphone). If they threaten to hurt you, tell you they are near your home or you fear for your safety, do not wait.
2. Apply for a protection order. Go to your nearest magistrate's court and ask the clerk for the application under the Protection from Harassment Act (or the Domestic Violence Act if it is a partner or family member). Take your printed log, the screenshots and your phone. The court can grant an interim order quickly in urgent cases, and if you do not know who the harasser is, it can direct the police to investigate or order the cellphone network to provide the details of the person behind a number.
3. Open a criminal case at your nearest police station (SAPS) if there are threats, intimidation or abuse. Explain since when it has been happening, how often and how it affects you, and ask for the case number. If a protection order is in place and the person breaks it, report it to the police straight away: breaching the order is a crime.
4. If the harassment comes from a partner or ex-partner, you can get free, confidential support from the Gender-Based Violence Command Centre on 0800 428 428, run by the Department of Social Development. Phone harassment from an ex-partner is a warning sign worth taking seriously.
5. If it is a company (a pushy debt collector or a business that keeps calling with marketing after you have asked it to stop), you can also complain to the Information Regulator under the Protection of Personal Information Act (POPIA).

With a private or constantly changing number you cannot tell who is calling, but a court or an investigation can ask the cellphone networks for the call records. That is why a log with exact dates and times is so valuable: it allows those specific calls to be traced.

What if I already answered or played along?

That is fine. Answering, arguing or even having been in a relationship with that person does not take away your right to have it stop. From now on:

• Stop replying and follow the steps above. Every reply tells them the channel still works.
• If you gave them information (address, schedule, workplace), keep that in mind when you apply for the order or open a case, and consider telling your workplace or your complex's security.
• If they have demanded money or information with threats, do not send it: that is extortion. If you have already paid, keep the proof of payment and contact your bank's fraud line on its official number.
• Check your accounts: change passwords, switch on two-step verification and lock down your social media privacy so they cannot follow your movements.

Frequently asked questions

I don't know who's calling, it's always a private number. Can I still do something? Yes. You can apply for a protection order even if you do not know the harasser's identity, and the court can order the network to provide the details linked to the calls. Take your call log with exact dates and times.

Should I change my number? It may give you peace of mind, but it is not required and it is not the first step. If you do, keep the old SIM for a while (or keep its records) so you do not lose evidence, and share the new number only with people you trust.

Can I record the calls? Recording a conversation you take part in is generally allowed in South Africa and can help as evidence; what you should not do is share it publicly. If in doubt, ask when you go to the court or the police station.

What about silent calls, with nobody on the other end? If they are occasional, they are usually automated diallers from call centres; we explain this in our guides. If they are constant, at deliberate times and always from the same source, log them anyway: they can be part of harassment.

In short

When facing phone harassment, the order is: one clear message, a log of every call and message, screenshots and a backup, blocking, support from someone you trust, and a protection order or a police case (10111 if you are in danger). An app like NoCall helps you identify numbers you do not know and filter those already flagged; if a number is harassing you with mass calls or messages, you can look it up or report it in the spam numbers directory. To take power away from the harasser, the first step is not facing them alone.