Romance scams: when love on WhatsApp ends with a request for money

Romance scams: when love on WhatsApp ends with a request for money

It starts with a "hi" on a dating app, a kind comment on Instagram or Facebook, or a "wrong number" WhatsApp message. The person on the other side is attentive, funny and always available. Within days they suggest moving the conversation to WhatsApp or Telegram, and within weeks they are talking about a future together. Then the problem appears: a medical emergency, a trip to see you that goes wrong, or a "safe" investment they want to share with you. This is a romance scam, and it works precisely because it does not look like a scam: it looks like a relationship. The most important thing to know: if someone you have never met in person asks you for money, the answer is no, however good the story is.

How does a romance scam work?

Almost all of them follow the same script, in stages:

1. First contact. An attractive profile on a dating app or social network, or a message sent "by mistake" to your number that turns into a conversation. They often claim jobs that explain the distance: a soldier on a peacekeeping mission, a doctor with an NGO, an engineer on an oil rig, a businessperson who travels all the time.
2. The channel switch. Very soon they ask you to leave the app ("I hardly use this", "WhatsApp is easier"). This is no small detail: on WhatsApp or Telegram the dating platform can no longer detect or block their account, and you lose the report button.
3. Building the bond. Daily messages, good morning and good night texts, confidences, plans for the future. Some call you with a warm voice, but the video call always fails: the camera is broken, the connection is bad, "it's not allowed on the base".
4. The request. It comes when trust is high. The three most common excuses:
   • Emergency: an accident, a hospital that will not treat them without payment, a frozen bank account, an arrest, a parcel or "gift" held at customs.
   • Travel: they want to come and see you but need help with the ticket, the visa or unexpected fees at the airport.
   • Investment: they show you how well they are doing with cryptocurrency or forex and encourage you to try "with a little". The platform shows profits, but when you try to withdraw you are asked for fees or tax. The money never comes out.
5. The escalation. If you pay once, another problem appears, and another. And when you finally cut them off, a final blow sometimes arrives: someone posing as a lawyer, a police officer or a "recovery agency" who promises to get your money back for an upfront fee.

What signs give a romance scammer away?

• Everything moves very fast. Intense declarations of love within days or weeks.
• There is never a video call or a meeting in person, always with a new excuse.
• They want you off the dating app or social network as soon as possible.
• Their story has gaps or details that change, and their photos look like a model's or an advert's.
• They ask for secrecy: "don't tell your family, they wouldn't understand".
• Money comes up, even if it is something small or "a loan I'll pay back as soon as I get paid".
• The payment method is unusual: cryptocurrency, gift vouchers, EFTs to other people's accounts, cash-send or money transfer services, or receiving money into your account to send it on.

That last one is especially dangerous: if they ask you to receive a payment and send it to another account, they are using you as a money mule to move other victims' money, and that can get you into legal trouble yourself.

What do I do if I suspect it's a scam?

1. Do not send money or personal information. Not small amounts, not a copy of your ID, not OTPs you receive by SMS.
2. Check their photos. Do a reverse image search (for example with Google Lens). They often turn up under another name or on someone else's profiles.
3. Ask for a live video call, now. A real person who says they love you can switch the camera on for a minute. If the excuses start again, you have your answer.
4. Tell someone you trust. The scammer relies on isolation; someone outside sees in minutes what takes months to see from inside.
5. Save evidence before blocking. Screenshots of the conversation, numbers, profiles, names of investment platforms and any payment details.
6. Cut contact and block them, on WhatsApp and on the app where you met, and report the profile on that app.

What if I've already sent money?

Do not blame yourself: these networks are professional and fool people of all ages and backgrounds. What matters now is acting fast:

1. Call your bank's fraud line on the number on the back of your card or in the banking app, not one they gave you. Explain that you have been scammed and ask them to try to stop or recall recent payments. The sooner, the more options you have.
2. Do not pay anything more, including "tax" or "fees" to release your supposed investment profits.
3. Be wary of anyone promising to recover your money for an upfront fee: that is the second scam, aimed precisely at people who have already lost money.
4. Change your passwords and check your accounts if you shared personal details or logins, or installed an app they recommended.
5. Open a case with all the evidence you have gathered.

You will find more about getting money back on our blog.

Where do I report it?

• SAPS: open a case at your nearest police station with screenshots, numbers, profiles and proof of payment, and ask for the case number.
• Your bank, on its official number. If you were asked to receive and forward money, tell the bank straight away: SABRIC, the banks' risk information centre, warns that money mule accounts are a key part of these networks.
• The Financial Sector Conduct Authority (FSCA), if the "relationship" led you to an investment or crypto platform: check whether it is authorised and report it if it is not.
• 10111 (or 112 from a cellphone): if someone is at immediate risk, for example if you are being threatened or asked to meet somewhere to hand over money.
• The app or social network where the contact started, and WhatsApp, using the option to report the chat.
• The spam numbers directory, so other people recognise that number.

Frequently asked questions

They called me and the voice sounded real. Can it still be a scam? Yes. A call only proves there is a person on the other end, not that they are who they say. Voices can now be generated or altered with artificial intelligence too. The test that matters is seeing them on a live video call or in person, and even then, if they ask for money, stop.

They didn't ask me for money, just to invest on a platform. Is that the same? It is the same scam in different wrapping, and one of the costliest. If someone you met online guides you to invest on a specific website or app, be suspicious, even if they let you withdraw a small amount at first to win your trust.

I'm embarrassed to report it. That is understandable, and it is exactly what they count on. Reporting allows the accounts and the networks behind them to be investigated, and it can stop the next victim from losing their savings. The police deal with these cases all the time.

I think a relative is being targeted and they won't listen to me. Avoid arguing or mocking: it usually strengthens their bond with the scammer. Ask questions ("have you seen them on video?", "what happens if you ask them to come here?") and suggest doing a reverse image search of their photos together.

In short

A romance scam does not start by asking for money: it starts by winning your trust and getting you off the app where you met. The rule that defuses it is simple: nobody you have not met in person should get your money, whether for an emergency, a trip or an investment. If it has already happened, call your bank's fraud line, save evidence and open a case. NoCall helps you identify suspicious numbers before you answer, and if a number from this scam has contacted you, report it in the NoCall spam numbers directory to warn others.