Phone harassment: repeated calls or messages and what to do

Phone harassment: repeated calls or messages and what to do

The phone rings again. And again. Sometimes it's a private number and nobody speaks; sometimes it's someone you know who won't take no for an answer; sometimes it's messages, at all hours, that leave you anxious every time your phone buzzes. Whether it's an ex-partner, a stranger, a former friend or a debt collector crossing the line, you don't have to put up with it. In Australia, using a phone or other carriage service to menace or harass someone is a criminal offence under federal law, and there are practical steps that work. If you feel you're in danger right now, call 000.

When is it harassment and not just a nuisance?

An occasional wrong number or sales call is a nuisance. It starts to look like harassment when:

• It's repeated and unwanted, especially after you've asked them to stop.
• It's at unreasonable hours: late at night, early morning, constantly.
• The content is threatening, abusive, sexual or intimidating.
• It comes from several numbers or accounts after you've blocked the first.
• It's connected to someone you know, such as an ex-partner trying to control or monitor you.
• It makes you afraid or changes how you live: you stop answering, you're anxious, you avoid places.

Harassment by a current or former partner can be a form of family and domestic violence. If that's your situation, specialist support is available confidentially through 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.

What do I do right now?

1. Don't engage. Don't reply, argue or answer calls from the number. Reactions often encourage more contact.
2. If it's someone you know, say "stop" once, in writing, if it's safe to do so: "Do not contact me again." Then don't respond further. This makes it clear the contact is unwanted.
3. Keep evidence of everything before you block or delete:
   • screenshots of call logs showing numbers, dates and times;
   • screenshots of texts, WhatsApp messages and social media messages;
   • saved voicemails;
   • a simple diary of each incident: date, time, what happened, how it affected you.
4. Back up your evidence somewhere safe, such as an email to yourself or a cloud folder the other person can't access.
5. Block the number on your phone, and use silencing features for unknown callers if the calls come from many numbers.

How do I report it?

• Police. Contact your local police station or the Police Assistance Line on 131 444 (in most states), or 000 in an emergency. Bring your evidence and diary. Police can investigate offences such as using a carriage service to menace or harass, stalking, and breaches of protection orders, and can work with your phone provider to identify who's behind private-number calls. The AFP's Report a crime page explains which matters go to the AFP and which to your state or territory police.
• Your phone provider. Tell them you're receiving harassing or malicious calls. Carriers have processes for this, and can work with police to trace calls even from private numbers.
• The Telecommunications Industry Ombudsman (TIO), if your provider doesn't help.
• The eSafety Commissioner, if the harassment is also happening on social media or online, especially if intimate images are involved.
• A protection order. If the person is known to you, police or your local court can explain how to apply for an apprehended violence order or intervention order (the name varies by state).

What if I already answered or played along?

That's completely normal: most people try to reason with the person or answer to find out who it is. It doesn't weaken your case.

• Stop engaging from now on.
• Keep everything you've already exchanged, even replies you're not proud of. Context matters.
• Report it anyway. Police will look at the pattern of behaviour, not just a single call.

Frequently asked questions

I don't know who's calling; it's always a private number. Can I still report it? Yes. Your carrier and police can work together to identify the caller. Keep a log of the dates and times of every call.

Should I change my number? It can bring immediate relief, but it's a personal decision. If you do, share the new number only with people you trust, and consider keeping the old number active for a while to collect evidence, if police advise it.

Can I record the calls? Laws on recording phone calls vary between states and territories, so check before you rely on a recording. Voicemails, screenshots and a written diary are generally safe and useful evidence; ask police what else would help.

What about silent calls with nobody on the other end? Many silent calls come from automated diallers, not a person targeting you. But if they're frequent, at odd hours or come with other unwanted contact, treat them as possible harassment: log them and tell your carrier.

This is affecting my mental health. Where can I talk to someone? Lifeline is available 24/7 on 13 11 14. If the harassment involves a partner or ex-partner, 1800RESPECT is also available any time on 1800 737 732.

In short

Repeated, unwanted calls and messages are not something you have to tolerate. Don't engage, keep evidence of everything, block, and report it to your carrier and police. If it's someone close to you, get specialist support and ask about a protection order. In an emergency, call 000. And if the calls come from unknown numbers, report them in the NoCall spam numbers directory so others can be warned.