Romance scams: when love on WhatsApp ends with a request for money

Romance scams: when love on WhatsApp ends with a request for money

It started on a dating app, Facebook, Instagram or even with a "wrong number" text. They're attentive, kind, funny, and seem to understand you like nobody else. Within days you're talking every morning and every night on WhatsApp. They can't video call, though: the camera's broken, the connection's bad, they work on an oil rig or with the army overseas. Then the problems start: a medical bill, a customs fee, a frozen bank account, a flight to finally meet you. Or an investment opportunity they want to "share with you". Romance scams cost Australians large sums every year, and they work because the feelings are real, even if the person isn't.

How does a romance scam work?

1. The contact. A dating app, social media, an online game, or a "sorry, wrong number" message that turns into a chat.
2. The fast connection. Lots of attention, compliments and talk about the future, often within days. They quickly suggest moving to WhatsApp, Telegram or another private app.
3. The cover story. Engineer, doctor, soldier, businessperson: often working overseas or travelling, which explains why they can't meet or video call.
4. The first request. Small at first: a phone top-up, a gift card, a fee. Then larger: hospital bills, legal trouble, customs charges on a parcel they've "sent you", a plane ticket.
5. The investment variant. Instead of asking for money directly, they show you how much they've made trading crypto and help you open an account on a platform. Your "profits" grow on screen until you try to withdraw.
6. The end. When you stop paying, or ask too many questions, they vanish, or turn to threats, sometimes with intimate images you've shared.

What signs give a romance scammer away?

• They profess strong feelings very quickly.
• They always have a reason not to video call or meet in person.
• Their photos look like a model's, or turn up under other names in a reverse image search.
• Their story has inconsistencies: details that change, odd time zones, English that doesn't match their claimed background.
• They ask for money, gift cards or crypto, or for you to receive and forward money for them.
• They push an investment platform you haven't heard of.
• They ask you to keep the relationship secret from family and friends.

What do I do if I suspect it's a scam?

1. Don't send any more money, gift cards or crypto, whatever the emergency.
2. Do a reverse image search of their photos to see whether they appear elsewhere under another name.
3. Ask for a live video call. A scammer will keep making excuses.
4. Talk to someone you trust. A friend or family member can see what's hard to see from the inside.
5. Check any investment platform on ASIC's registers before putting money in.
6. Keep the chats and screenshots before blocking, then block and report the profile on the app or site.

What if I've already sent money?

You're not foolish and you're not alone: these scammers are professionals who spend weeks or months building trust.

1. Call your bank on the number on your card or in its app, explain that it's a romance scam and ask them to try to recall payments and block further transfers.
2. If you paid in crypto, contact the exchange you used straight away with the transaction details.
3. If you sent identity documents or intimate images, contact IDCARE (1800 595 160) for identity support. If you're being threatened with intimate images, our sextortion guide in the guides explains what to do, and the eSafety Commissioner can help with image-based abuse.
4. Watch out for "recovery" offers: people who contact you promising to get your money back for a fee are often part of the same scam.
5. Look after yourself. The loss of the relationship can hurt as much as the loss of money. If you're struggling, Lifeline is available on 13 11 14, or through its website.

Where do I report it?

• Police, through ReportCyber via the AFP's cybercrime page. Include profile names, phone numbers, account details and payment receipts.
• Scamwatch, so the National Anti-Scam Centre can track the profiles and warn others.
• The dating app or social network where you met, so the profile can be removed.
• The spam numbers directory, for any phone numbers used.

Frequently asked questions

They called me and the voice sounded real. Can it still be a scam? Yes. Many scammers do talk on the phone, and some use voice-changing tools. A real voice proves nothing about who someone is. A live video call where you can see they match their photos is far harder to fake, though not impossible, and meeting in person in a public place is the real test.

They didn't ask me for money, just to invest on a platform. Is that the same? Yes, it's one of the most common versions now. The "platform" is controlled by the scammers and the profits are fake. Check any investment firm with ASIC first, and never invest because someone you've only met online tells you to.

In short

Fast love, no video calls, a cover story overseas and, sooner or later, a request for money or an investment: that's the pattern. Stop paying, talk to someone you trust, call your bank and report it to ReportCyber and Scamwatch. Get support if you need it. And report any phone numbers used in the NoCall spam numbers directory.