Sextortion: phone or WhatsApp blackmail and what to do

The message arrives via WhatsApp, SMS or a call: someone claims to have your intimate photos or videos and threatens to send them to your family, your workplace or your contacts if you don't pay. The panic is immediate, and that's exactly what they're counting on. This is called sextortion, it's a crime, and there's a clear protocol for dealing with it. The first thing you should know: paying almost never stops it, and not paying almost never ends in the material being shared.

How does sextortion work?

There are two variants, and it's worth telling them apart because the fear they generate is different:

• Mass, indiscriminate sextortion. Messages sent to thousands of numbers at once, often including an old password of yours (taken from a data breach) to sound credible: "I know your password, I have access to your camera, I recorded what you were doing." In the vast majority of cases they have nothing: it's an automated bluff that works because, out of thousands of messages, someone gets scared and pays.
• Targeted sextortion. It starts with real contact: someone messages you on a social network or dating app, earns your trust, you exchange intimate content (or they record you on a video call without you knowing) and then the blackmail arrives. Here there may genuinely be real material, and the blackmail often includes screenshots of your contact list to increase the pressure.

In both cases the script is the same: urgency ("you have 24 hours"), secrecy ("don't tell anyone, that will make it worse") and a payment that's hard to trace (transfer, cryptocurrency, gift cards). Each of those three elements is a red flag.

Why shouldn't I pay?

For three reasons proven time and again:

1. Paying doesn't buy silence, it buys a second blackmail attempt. Having paid proves two things to the blackmailer: that fear works on you and that you have money. The next demand usually arrives within days.
2. The material, if it exists, is already copied. Nothing you pay guarantees it will be deleted. There is no possible "deal" with an anonymous criminal.
3. Giving in makes you a permanent target. Your data (number, profile, the fact you pay) is sold and reused in other campaigns.

And contrary to what fear dictates: in mass cases there is nothing to share, and in targeted cases actual sharing is far rarer than threatened, because sharing earns them no money and instead exposes them. The blackmailer's business is your fear, not your shame.

What do I do, step by step?

1. Don't pay anything. Not a euro, not even "to buy time". Cut off the negotiation: don't discuss the amount or ask for additional proof.
2. Don't delete anything yet. Save screenshots of the messages, the numbers, the profiles, the threats and any payment details they've given you. They're evidence. Back everything up.
3. Cut contact without warning. Block the number and the profile. Don't announce you're going to report it: a report is filed, not negotiated.
4. Strengthen your accounts. Change passwords (start with email), enable two-step verification everywhere and review your social media privacy: friends list not public, closed profile, remove strangers from your contacts.
5. Tell your close circle, however hard it is. A short message to family or a partner ("someone is trying to blackmail me with a fake, ignore anything you receive") defuses their most powerful threat: surprise.
6. Report it. In Spain, to the Policía Nacional or the Guardia Civil, with all the screenshots. Sextortion is a crime of extortion and threats, and cybercrime units handle these cases daily. If you are a minor or the case affects a minor, say so explicitly: the response is a priority. You can also ask for help on INCIBE's 017 helpline, free and confidential.
7. Report the number in the spam numbers directory so others recognise the campaign.

If the blackmail came after a supposed relationship or romantic contact who asked you for money with another excuse, it may overlap with the fake-relative scam; the verification protocol is the same: cut contact, verify through an independent channel and report.

What if I already paid?

Don't blame yourself: you acted under threat. But change strategy now:

• Don't pay any more, even if they promise it's "the last time". It isn't.
• Keep the payment receipts: they're trails that help the investigation.
• Report it anyway, explaining that payments were already made. Having paid doesn't remove your status as a victim or weaken the report.
• If you paid by card or transfer, tell your bank: in some cases there are recovery routes, which we detail in how to recover money from a phone scam.

Frequently asked questions

They say they have a video of me but I never made video calls with strangers, could it be true? Almost certainly not. It's the mass bluff: they send the same message to thousands of numbers hoping someone has something to fear. If there's no possible origin for that material, it doesn't exist.

What if the material is real? The protocol doesn't change: don't pay, save evidence, block, warn your circle and report. Shame is their tool; every person in your circle you've warned is one tool fewer.

Should I delete my social media? You don't need to delete it, but you should lock it down: private profile, hidden friends list and a review of unknown followers. Deleting the profile where they contacted you can destroy evidence: screenshots first, then blocking.

I'm a minor (or my child is), does anything change? Yes: tell a trusted adult immediately and report as soon as possible. When minors are involved, as well as extortion there may be crimes of corruption of minors or child pornography, and the investigation is a priority. INCIBE's 017 also handles these cases.

In short

Faced with sextortion, the order is: don't pay, save evidence, block, strengthen accounts, warn your circle and report. The blackmailer sells fear wholesale and collects from whoever is left alone with it; every step in this list takes away one of their levers. If you've received one of these messages, report it in the NoCall spam numbers directory: your warning could be what stops the next person from paying.