Romance scams: when love on WhatsApp ends with a request for money

Romance scams: when love on WhatsApp ends with a request for money

It starts beautifully. Someone attractive and attentive messages you on Facebook, Instagram, a dating app or even a wrong-number text. They say they are an engineer on an oil rig, a doctor with an international mission, a soldier abroad or a businessperson in the diaspora. The conversation moves to WhatsApp, the good-morning messages never stop and, after weeks of affection, plans for a future together appear. Then, one day, a problem that only money can solve. That is a romance scam, and the rule that protects you is hard but simple: if someone you have never met in person asks you for money, stop and verify, however real the feelings seem.

How does a romance scam work?

1. The contact. A friend request, a match or a "wrong number" message. The profile photos are often stolen from real people.
2. Intensity, fast. Daily messages, compliments, "I've never felt like this", talk of marriage or moving to be with you. The goal is to build trust and emotional dependence.
3. The excuse not to meet. They are always far away: abroad, offshore, on a mission. Video calls "don't work", the camera is "broken" or the network is bad.
4. The first problem. A medical bill, a customs fee for a gift they sent you, a flight ticket to come and see you, money to "release their salary", a frozen account abroad.
5. The escalation. Once you pay, another problem appears: a fine, a lawyer, a tax, an "investment opportunity" they want you to join. Some ask you to receive and forward money, which can make you an unknowing money mule.
6. The end. When you stop paying or start asking questions, they turn cold, angry or threatening, or disappear.

A frequent variant mixes romance and investment: your new partner shows you how much they earn trading crypto and encourages you to open an account on "their" platform. That platform is fake.

What signs give a romance scammer away?

• They profess strong feelings very quickly.
• They avoid meeting or doing a proper video call, always with excuses.
• Their story has gaps or details that change.
• They ask for money, gift cards, crypto, or help receiving and sending transfers.
• They push secrecy: "don't tell your family, they won't understand us".
• A parcel or gift that requires you to pay "customs" or "clearance" before it can be delivered.
• Their photos appear elsewhere online under other names. A reverse image search can reveal it.

What do I do if I suspect it's a scam?

1. Do not send money, not even "a small amount to help".
2. Ask for a live video call with something specific (holding up a note with today's date). Repeated excuses are an answer.
3. Do a reverse image search of their photos.
4. Talk to someone you trust about the relationship. Scammers rely on isolation; an outside view breaks it.
5. Do not send intimate photos or videos. They can be used for blackmail.
6. Keep evidence: screenshots of the profile, chats, phone numbers, account details they gave you.
7. Stop contact and block if you confirm it is a scam.

What if I've already sent money?

You are not foolish: these scammers are professionals who invest weeks or months to manipulate genuine emotions. Act now:

1. Stop sending money, even if they promise to pay you back or say it is the last time.
2. Call your bank on its official number. Report the transfers as fraud and ask them to try to recall them and flag the receiving accounts. If you used a card, ask about disputing the charges.
3. If money from others passed through your account at their request, tell your bank and the police now. Explaining early protects you.
4. Change your passwords if you shared any login details, and turn on two-step verification.
5. Beware of "recovery" offers. People who promise to find the scammer and recover your money for a fee are often part of the same network.
6. If your bank does not resolve your complaint, escalate it to the Central Bank of Nigeria's consumer protection department.

Where do I report it?

• The police, at a station or through the Nigeria Police Force's National Cybercrime Centre (NPF-NCCC) e-reporting portal, with all the evidence you have.
• The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), which investigates advance-fee and romance fraud.
• The platform where you met: report the profile on the dating app or social network.
• WhatsApp: report the chat from inside the app.
• NoCall, adding the number to the spam numbers directory.

If they threaten to share intimate material, read our guide on sextortion and report it immediately: do not pay.

Frequently asked questions

But we talk every day and they know so much about me. Can it really be fake? Yes. Daily attention is part of the method. Many scammers handle several victims at once with scripts.

They sent me photos of their passport and work ID. Isn't that proof? No. Documents are easily forged or stolen from real people.

I feel ashamed to report it. Should I? Yes. Reporting helps you and protects others. Investigators handle these cases regularly and you are a victim of a crime, not the one at fault.

Can I get my money back? Sometimes, if the bank acts quickly. The faster you report, the better.

In short

Love that never meets you, always has an emergency and needs your money is not love: it is a romance scam. Do not send money, insist on a real video call, talk to someone you trust and keep evidence. If you have already paid, call your bank and report it to the police and the EFCC. And report the number in the NoCall spam numbers directory: your warning could protect another heart, and another bank account.