Phone harassment: repeated calls or texts and what to do

Phone harassment: repeated calls or texts and what to do

Your phone rings again. It's the same number as this morning, or a private number, or a new one you've never seen. Sometimes there's silence, sometimes insults, sometimes messages that seem harmless but never stop. You've asked them to leave you alone and it keeps going. This isn't something you have to put up with. Repeated, unwanted calls and messages can be harassment, and in New Zealand there are clear ways to document it, stop it and report it.

When is it harassment and not just a nuisance?

There's no magic number of calls, but these signs point to harassment:

• Persistence. Repeated calls or messages, many times a day or over weeks, even when you don't answer.
• You've said no and it continues. You've asked them to stop, or your silence is obvious, and it still goes on.
• They switch numbers to get round your block. Private numbers, new numbers, other messaging apps, fake profiles.
• Intrusive timing. Calls in the middle of the night or at times chosen to upset you.
• Intimidating content. Insults, threats, comments about where you are or who you're with, long silences, breathing.
• Impact on your life. You're afraid to pick up the phone, you change your routine or turn your phone off to get some peace.

What do I do right now?

1. Don't take the bait. Don't reply with insults or try to negotiate. If you want to make it clear that you don't want contact, send one single clear, calm message ("I don't want you to contact me again"), and then stop replying.
2. Start a log today. In a note or spreadsheet, record every call and message: date, time, number (or "private"), how long it lasted and what was said. An organised log turns "they keep calling me" into evidence.
3. Take screenshots of your call log and messages, with the date and number visible. Keep voicemails and voice messages too.
4. Back it up. Export the chats and save the screenshots off your phone (on a computer or in the cloud). If your phone is lost or broken, you don't lose the evidence.
5. Don't delete anything, even if it's upsetting to read. Screenshots and backup first; block afterwards.
6. Block the number. Android and iPhone both let you block a number from your call log. On iPhone you can also turn on "Silence Unknown Callers", and most Android phones have a similar setting or a spam filter.
7. Tell someone you trust. Don't carry this alone. Someone who knows what's happening can go with you to report it and can describe how it's affecting you.
8. Talk to your phone provider. Most providers have a process for nuisance or malicious calls and can advise you on blocking, tracing or changing your number.

How do I report it?

1. If there's immediate danger, call 111. If they threaten to hurt you, say they're near your home, or you fear for your safety, don't wait.
2. Report it to Police. Call 105 or use the 105 online service on the NZ Police website, or go to a station. Bring your log, screenshots and any recordings. Threats, and harassment that continues after you've asked it to stop, can be offences.
3. If it's happening by text, messaging apps or social media, New Zealand's Harmful Digital Communications Act may apply. Police explain how it works on their Harmful Digital Communications page. Netsafe, the approved agency under the Act, can help with harmful digital communications and contact the platforms involved.
4. If the harassment comes from a partner, ex-partner or family member, it may be family violence. Police list where to get help on their family violence help and support page, and you can talk to them about a protection order.
5. If it's someone else who won't stop, the Harassment Act lets you apply to the District Court for a restraining order. A community law centre or the Citizens Advice Bureau can explain how.
6. If it's a company (a pushy debt collector or a business that keeps calling after you've asked it to stop), complain to the company in writing; if it misuses your personal information, you can complain to the Office of the Privacy Commissioner.

What if I've already answered or engaged?

• Stop replying and follow the steps above. Every reply tells them the channel works.
• If you gave them information (address, routine, workplace), mention it when you report, and consider letting your workplace or building manager know.
• If they've demanded money or details with threats, don't send anything: that's extortion. If you've already paid, keep the receipts and contact your bank through its official number.
• Lock down your accounts: change passwords, turn on two-step verification and tighten your social media privacy so they can't follow your movements.

Frequently asked questions

I don't know who's calling, it's always a private number. Can I still report it? Yes. Police can make enquiries, and your phone provider may be able to help with malicious calls. Your log of dates and times is what makes that possible.

Should I change my number? It's an option if nothing else works, but don't do it before you've collected evidence and reported it. If you do, share the new number only with people you trust.

Can I record the calls? In New Zealand it's generally lawful to record a conversation you're part of, but check with Police about how to provide recordings as evidence, and be careful about sharing them publicly.

What about silent calls with nobody on the other end? Many silent calls come from automated diallers. If they're repeated and seem targeted at you, log them and treat them the same way.

In short

Repeated, unwanted calls and messages are not something you have to tolerate. Don't engage, keep a log, take screenshots, back them up, block and tell someone you trust. Report it to Police (111 if you're in danger, 105 otherwise), and use the Harmful Digital Communications Act, protection orders or restraining orders where they apply. And report the number in the NoCall spam numbers directory.