Phone harassment: repeated calls or messages and what to do

The phone rings again. It's the tenth call of the day, or the twentieth message, sometimes in the middle of the night, sometimes from a hidden number, sometimes from a new number every time you block the last one. It might be an ex-partner, an acquaintance, a former colleague or someone you have never met. When calls or messages are persistent, unwanted and disrupt your daily life, it is no longer a nuisance: it is phone harassment, and in Spain (as in many countries) it can be a crime. The most important thing to know from the start: you don't have to put up with it, and the sooner you start documenting it, the easier it will be to stop.

When is it harassment and not just a nuisance?

Not every unwanted call is harassment. A company calling to sell you something is annoying marketing; a wrong number is a mistake. We are talking about harassment when several of these signs appear:

• Persistence. Repeated calls or messages, many times a day or for weeks, even when you don't answer.
• You've said no and it continues. You've asked them to stop, or your silence is obvious, and it still goes on.
• They switch numbers to get around your block. Hidden number, new numbers, other messaging apps, fake profiles.
• Intrusive timing. Calls in the middle of the night or at moments chosen to disturb you.
• Intimidating content. Insults, threats, comments about where you are or who you're with, long silences, breathing.
• Impact on your life. You're afraid to pick up the phone, you change routines or switch your phone off to get some peace.

In Spain, the Criminal Code punishes repeated and persistent harassment that seriously disrupts the victim's daily life (the offence of harassment or stalking, article 172 ter), and threats or insults can be offences in their own right; most countries have similar laws. You don't need to know which offence applies: the police and the courts assess that. What is in your hands is gathering evidence.

What do I do right now?

1. Don't take the bait. Don't respond with insults or negotiate. If you want to put on record that you don't want contact, send one single clear, calm message ("I don't want you to call or message me anymore") and don't reply to anything after that. That message is also evidence.
2. Start a log today. In a note or spreadsheet, record every call and message: date, time, number (or "hidden"), duration and what was said. An orderly log turns "they call me a lot" into a pattern that can be proven.
3. Take screenshots of the call log and messages, with the date and number visible. Also keep voicemails and voice notes.
4. Make a backup. Export the chats and save the screenshots off your phone (on a computer or in the cloud). If your phone is lost or broken, you don't lose the evidence.
5. Don't delete anything, even if it hurts to read. Screenshots and backup first; blocking after.
6. Block the number. Both Android and iPhone let you block a number from the call log. On iPhone you can also turn on "Silence Unknown Callers", and on Android most models have an option to block unknown or hidden numbers. Also block the profile on WhatsApp, Telegram, Instagram and any other app they use.
7. Tell someone you trust. Don't carry this alone. Someone who knows what's happening can go with you to report it and can testify to how it affects you.

Blocking doesn't destroy the evidence you already have, but it does mean you stop seeing new attempts. If the person keeps changing numbers, note down each new number before blocking it: that persistence in getting around your blocks is itself evidence of harassment.

How do I report it?

1. If there's immediate danger, call 112. If they threaten to hurt you, tell you they're near your home or you fear for your safety, don't wait. (112 works across the EU; elsewhere, use your local emergency number.)
2. File a police report. In Spain, with the Policía Nacional (091) or the Guardia Civil (062), at a station; elsewhere, with your national or local police. Bring the printed log, the screenshots and your phone. Explain since when it has been happening, how often and how it affects you.
3. If the harassment comes from your partner or ex-partner and you are a woman, in Spain the 016 helpline supports victims of gender-based violence free of charge and without appearing on your phone bill; elsewhere, contact your national domestic-violence helpline. Phone harassment from an ex-partner is a warning sign worth taking seriously.
4. Ask for guidance: in Spain, INCIBE's 017 helpline, if the harassment has a digital side (fake profiles, messages on social media, impersonation); elsewhere, your national cybersecurity agency. It's free and confidential and can also help you set up the privacy of your accounts. Spain's Internet User Security Office (OSI) has practical guides on privacy and blocking.
5. If it's a company (a pushy debt collector or a business that keeps calling with marketing after you've asked it to stop), you can also complain to the data-protection authority: in Spain, the Agencia Española de Protección de Datos (AEPD).

With a hidden or constantly changing number, you can't tell who is calling, but an investigation can ask phone operators for call data. That's why a log with exact dates and times is so valuable: it lets those specific calls be traced.

What if I already answered or played along?

That's okay. Answering, arguing or even having been in a relationship with that person does not take away your right to have it stop. From now on:

• Stop replying and follow the steps above. Each reply confirms to them that the channel works.
• If you gave them information (address, schedule, workplace), keep that in mind when reporting and consider letting your workplace or your building know.
• If they've demanded money or data with threats, don't send it: that is already extortion. If you've already paid, keep the receipts and contact your bank through its official number.
• Review your accounts: change passwords, turn on two-step verification and lock down your social media privacy so they can't follow your movements.

Frequently asked questions

I don't know who's calling, it's always a hidden number. Can I still report it? Yes. Report it against an unknown person, with your call log. The police can ask the operator to identify the calls on the dates and times you provide.

Should I change my number? It may give you peace of mind, but it isn't required and it isn't the first step. If you do, keep the old one for a while without using it (or keep its records) so you don't lose evidence, and share the new one only with people you trust.

Can I record the calls? In Spain, recording a conversation you take part in is generally lawful and can be submitted as evidence; what you can't do is share it publicly. Rules vary by country, so if in doubt, ask when you file your report.

What about silent calls, with nobody on the other end? If they're occasional, they're usually automated diallers from call centres; we explain this in they call me and don't speak. If they're constant, at deliberate times and always from the same source, log them anyway: they can be part of harassment.

In short

When facing phone harassment, the order is: one clear message, a log of every call and message, screenshots and a backup, blocking, support from someone you trust and a report (112 if you're in danger). An app like NoCall helps you identify numbers you don't know and filter those already flagged; if a number is harassing you with mass calls or messages, you can look it up or report it in the spam number directory. To take power away from the harasser, the first step is not facing them alone.