Romance scams: when love on WhatsApp ends with a request for money

It starts with a "hi" on a dating app, a kind comment on Instagram or a "wrong number" WhatsApp message. The person on the other side is attentive, funny and always available. Within a few days they suggest continuing the conversation on WhatsApp or Telegram, and within a few weeks they are already talking about a future together. Until the problem appears: a medical emergency, a trip to meet you that goes wrong, or a "safe" investment they want to share with you. This is a romance scam, and it works precisely because it doesn't look like a scam: it looks like a relationship. The most important thing to know is this: if someone you have never met in person asks you for money, the answer is no, however good the story is.

How does a romance scam work?

Almost all of them follow the same script, in stages:

1. First contact. An attractive profile on a dating app or social network, or a message sent "by mistake" to your number that turns into a conversation. They often claim jobs that explain the distance: a soldier on a mission, a doctor with an NGO, an engineer on an oil rig, a businessperson who travels a lot.
2. The channel switch. Very soon they ask you to leave the app ("I hardly ever log in here", "WhatsApp is easier"). This is no small detail: on WhatsApp or Telegram the dating platform can no longer detect or block their account, and you lose the report button.
3. Building the bond. Daily messages, good morning and good night texts, confidences, plans for the future. Some call you on the phone with a warm voice, but the video call always fails: the camera is broken, the connection is bad, "it's not allowed at the base".
4. The request. It comes when trust is high. The three most common excuses:
   • Emergency: an accident, a hospital that won't treat them without payment, a frozen bank account, an arrest, a parcel held at customs.
   • Travel: they want to come and see you, but need help with the ticket, the visa or unexpected fees at the airport.
   • Investment: they show you how well they are doing with cryptocurrency or on a trading platform and encourage you to try "with a little". The platform shows profits, but when you try to withdraw you are asked for fees or taxes. The money never comes out.
5. The escalation. If you pay once, another problem appears, and another. And when you finally cut them off, a final blow sometimes arrives: someone posing as a lawyer, a police officer or a "recovery agency" who promises to get your money back in exchange for an upfront payment.

What signs give a romance scammer away?

• Everything moves very fast. Intense declarations of love within days or weeks.
• There is never a video call or a meeting in person, always with a new excuse.
• They want you off the dating app or social network as soon as possible.
• Their story has gaps or details that change, and their photos look like a model's or a catalogue's.
• They ask for secrecy: "don't tell your family, they wouldn't understand".
• Money comes up, even if it's something small or "a loan I'll pay back as soon as I get paid".
• The payment method is unusual: cryptocurrency, gift cards, transfers to third-party accounts, cash sent by courier or money transfer, or receiving money in your account to forward it on.

That last one is especially dangerous: if they ask you to receive a transfer and send it to another account, they are using you as a "money mule" to move other victims' money, and that can get you into legal trouble yourself.

What do I do if I suspect it's a scam?

1. Don't send money or personal data. Not small amounts, not photos of your ID, not codes you receive by SMS.
2. Check their photos. Do a reverse image search (for example, with Google Lens). They often turn up under another name or on someone else's profiles.
3. Ask for a live video call, now. A real person who says they love you can switch the camera on for a minute. If there are excuses again, you have your answer.
4. Tell someone you trust. The scammer relies on isolation; an outside view sees in minutes what takes months to see from the inside.
5. Save evidence before blocking. Screenshots of the conversation, numbers, profiles, names of investment platforms and any payment details.
6. Cut contact and block them, on WhatsApp and on the app where you met, and report the profile on that app.

What if I've already sent money?

Don't blame yourself: these networks are professional and deceive people of all ages and backgrounds. What matters now is acting fast:

1. Call your bank on the official number printed on your card or shown in its app, not one they gave you. Explain that you have been the victim of a scam and ask them to try to stop or recover recent transfers. The sooner, the more options you have.
2. Don't pay anything more, including "taxes" or "fees" to release your supposed investment profits.
3. Be wary of anyone promising to recover your money in exchange for an upfront payment: that is the second scam, aimed precisely at people who have already lost money.
4. Change passwords and check your accounts if you shared personal details or logins, or installed an app they recommended.
5. Report it with all the evidence you have gathered.

You'll find more detail on deadlines and banking routes in how to recover money after a phone scam.

Where do I report it?

• The police: in Spain, the Policía Nacional (091) or the Guardia Civil (062); elsewhere, your national or local police. File a report with screenshots, numbers, profiles and payment receipts.
• A cybersecurity helpline: in Spain, INCIBE's 017, a free and confidential helpline that advises you on what to do and how to report, and INCIBE's Oficina de Seguridad del Internauta (OSI) publishes alerts about these campaigns; elsewhere, your national cybersecurity agency or fraud reporting centre.
• Emergency number 112 (in Spain and across the EU, or your local emergency number): if someone is at immediate risk, for example if you are being threatened or asked to meet somewhere to hand over money.
• The app or social network where the contact started, and WhatsApp, using the option to report the chat.
• The spam number directory, so other people can recognise that number.

Frequently asked questions

They called me and the voice sounded real. Can it still be a scam? Yes. A call only proves there is a person on the other end, not that they are who they claim to be. Voices can now also be generated or altered with artificial intelligence. The test that matters is seeing them on a live video call or in person, and even then, if they ask for money, stop.

They didn't ask me for money, just to invest on a platform. Is that the same? It's the same scam in different wrapping, and one of those that cost people the most. If someone you met online guides you to invest on a specific website or app, be suspicious, even if they let you withdraw a small amount at the start to win your trust.

I'm embarrassed to report it. That's understandable, and it's exactly what they count on. Reporting is what allows the accounts and the networks behind them to be investigated, and it can stop the next victim losing their savings. The police deal with these cases every day.

I think a relative is being targeted and they won't listen to me. Avoid arguing or mocking: it usually strengthens their bond with the scammer. Ask questions ("have you seen them on video?", "what happens if you ask them to come here?"), suggest doing a reverse image search of their photos together, and call a helpline (017 in Spain) for guidance.

In short

A romance scam doesn't start by asking for money: it starts by winning your trust and getting you off the app where you met. The rule that defuses it is simple: nobody you haven't met in person should receive your money, whether for an emergency, a trip or an investment. If it has already happened, call your bank on its official number, save evidence and report it. NoCall helps you identify suspicious numbers before you answer, and if a number from this scam has contacted you, report it in the NoCall spam number directory to warn others.