Sextortion: blackmail by phone or WhatsApp and what to do

Sextortion: blackmail by phone or WhatsApp and what to do

The message arrives on WhatsApp, by text or in a call: someone claims to have intimate photos or videos of you and threatens to send them to your family, your employer or your contacts unless you pay. The panic is instant, and that's exactly what they're counting on. This is called sextortion, it's a crime, and there's a clear way to deal with it. The first thing to know: paying almost never makes it stop, and not paying almost never ends with the material being shared.

How does sextortion work?

There are two kinds, and it's worth telling them apart because the fear they create is different:

• Mass, indiscriminate sextortion. Messages sent to thousands of numbers or email addresses at once, often quoting an old password of yours (taken from a data breach) to sound credible: "I know your password, I've got access to your camera, I recorded what you were doing." In the vast majority of cases they have nothing: it's an automated bluff that works because, out of thousands of messages, someone gets scared and pays.
• Targeted sextortion. It starts with real contact: someone messages you on social media or a dating app, gains your trust, you exchange intimate content (or they record you on a video call without you knowing), and then the blackmail starts. Here there may well be real material, and the blackmailer often shows you screenshots of your contact list to pile on the pressure.

In both cases the script is the same: urgency ("you've got 24 hours"), secrecy ("don't tell anyone or it'll be worse") and a payment that's hard to trace (bank transfer, cryptocurrency, gift cards). Each of those three elements is a red flag.

Why shouldn't I pay?

For three reasons, proven time and again:

1. Paying doesn't buy silence, it buys a second demand. Paying proves two things to the blackmailer: that fear works on you and that you have money. The next demand usually arrives within days.
2. The material, if it exists, has already been copied. Nothing you pay guarantees it will be deleted. There's no "deal" to be done with an anonymous criminal.
3. Giving in makes you a permanent target. Your details (your number, your profile, the fact that you pay) get sold on and reused in other campaigns.

And, contrary to what fear tells you: in mass cases there's nothing to share, and in targeted cases the material is actually shared far less often than threatened, because sharing it earns them nothing and exposes them instead. The blackmailer's business is your fear, not your shame.

What do I do, step by step?

1. Don't pay anything. Not a penny, not even "to buy time". Stop negotiating: don't discuss the amount or ask for more proof.
2. Don't delete anything yet. Take screenshots of the messages, numbers, profiles, threats and any payment details they've given you. They're evidence. Back everything up.
3. Cut contact without warning. Block the number and the profile. Don't announce that you're going to the police: a report is something you make, not something you negotiate.
4. Lock down your accounts. Change your passwords (starting with your email), turn on two-step verification everywhere and review your social media privacy: friends list hidden, profile private, strangers removed from your contacts.
5. Tell the people close to you, however hard it feels. A short message to family or a partner ("someone is trying to blackmail me with fake material, ignore anything you receive") defuses their most powerful weapon: surprise.
6. Report it. Contact the police on 101, or 999 if you feel in immediate danger, and have all your screenshots to hand. Blackmail is a crime and you are the victim. If you're under 18, or the case involves a child, say so straight away. Mass sextortion messages can also be reported to Report Fraud (formerly Action Fraud) on 0300 123 2040 in England, Wales and Northern Ireland; forward scam texts to 7726 and scam emails to [email protected], as the National Cyber Security Centre explains.
7. Report the number in the spam numbers directory so others recognise the campaign.

If the blackmail followed a supposed relationship or romantic contact who had already asked you for money with some other excuse, it may overlap with a romance scam; the approach is the same: cut contact, check through an independent channel and report it.

What if I've already paid?

Don't blame yourself: you acted under threat. But change strategy now:

• Don't pay any more, even if they promise it's "the last time". It isn't.
• Keep the payment receipts: they leave a trail that helps the investigation.
• Report it anyway, explaining that you've already paid. Having paid doesn't make you any less of a victim or weaken your report.
• If you paid by card or bank transfer, tell your bank straight away: in some cases there are ways to recover the money, which we cover on the NoCall blog.

Frequently asked questions

They say they have a video of me, but I've never been on a video call with a stranger. Could it be true? Almost certainly not. It's the mass bluff: they send the same message to thousands of people hoping someone has something to fear. If there's no possible source for that material, it doesn't exist.

What if the material is real? The plan doesn't change: don't pay, keep the evidence, block, warn the people close to you and report it. Shame is their tool; every person you've warned is one tool fewer.

Should I delete my social media? You don't need to delete it, but you should lock it down: private profile, hidden friends list and a review of followers you don't know. Deleting the profile where they contacted you can destroy evidence: screenshots first, then block.

I'm under 18 (or my child is). Does anything change? Yes: tell a trusted adult immediately and report it to the police as soon as possible, on 999 if a child is in immediate danger. When children are involved, more serious offences than blackmail come into play, so reporting quickly matters even more.

In short

Faced with sextortion, the order is: don't pay, keep the evidence, block, secure your accounts, warn the people close to you and report it. The blackmailer sells fear wholesale and collects from whoever is left alone with it; every step on this list takes away one of their levers. If you've received one of these messages, report it in the NoCall spam numbers directory: your warning could be what stops the next person from paying.